Blending two families

The Brady Bunch was a popular television show where a mum and dad with six kids created one big happy family without conflict or rivalries. The problem is it seldom happens that way. So here are three challenges you will need God’s help with:

(1) It’s common for kids to see a new step-parent as a usurper. Their loyalty to the memory of their departed mother or father can be intense. For them to welcome a newcomer feels like an act of betrayal. This can place the step-parent in a real bind.

(2) It’s common for one child to move into the power vacuum left by the departed parent and see themselves as a surrogate spouse. The status and power that come with this supportive role is very strong, and a youngster can be unwilling to give it up.

(3) Each of us is irrationally committed to our flesh and blood while being merely acquainted with others. So, when conflict arises in the family, parents are almost always partial to those they brought into the world. And when children sense this tension between parents, some of them will try to exploit it to their advantage. That’s why, statistically, second and third marriages have a higher failure rate than first ones. But there is good news: ‘With God all things are possible.’ (Matthew 19:26 KJV)

What should you do? Seek professional counselling as early as possible. Yes, it costs, but a divorce will cost you even more. And include God; He can give you the patience, wisdom, and love you need. ‘Live in peace; and the God of love and peace will be with you.’ (2 Corinthians 13:11 NKJV)